Monday, November 22, 2010

I Didn't Ask For This Stinking Job

I got volunteered to host Thanksgiving.  No, correction, I got volunteered to have my mother, all 8 of her children, my husband and children, my sister's husband and children, my husband's sister and son, my sister's boyfriend (maybe), my brother's girlfriend and daughter (possibly) all squashed in my tiny house to celebrate when oppressed people came from Europe and made an attempt to make a life for themselves in a new and strange land, all the while oppressing the people that were already here and living in and off said land.

But I'm not bitter about it.  In the colder months, I really only see my family over the holidays.  I don't have enough adipose tissue to be traveling in brisk tempertures.  We are a boisterous bunch with lots of stories and laughter so I miss them in the late fall and winter.  But in my quest to continue having pretty decent paychecks, I will be working the night before.  It's only an 8 hour shift (thank the stars), but being the hired help around that joint, I'll probably get paired with either the taskiest patient (good thing) or the alert and oriented times atleast time 2 crazy person that keeps forgetting he/she is in a hospital with half of the skull missing (not so good thing) and it'll be a wrestling match gone wrong (bad thing).  My sister has already declared that I cannot be a grumpy gus (who's she kidding).  It's a work in progress (today maybe).

So the game plan is to do most of the cooking the day before.  That's the plan. When I cook, the plan usually falls by the wayside.  I know I'm going to be exhausted. I know I will not be entertaining anyone or their foolishness.  I really hope I've gotten all the items I need from the grocery store. Please believe I will not have a problem running someone down with a cart if I have carts need hood ornaments too.  And the boys had better keep their distance and entertain their aunt and cousin.  Especially since she invited herself.  Sleep deprivation makes the cordial side of me non-existant.  The beast will be released if she even looks like she is going to say something out of order.

I'm sorry fam, but the plan is eat, drink, be merry, and get out. There will be no lingering until the wee hours of the morning.  You folks will need to make your to-go plates at the same time you make your right now plates.  And if any of them say I'm mean, ya dang on right...don't let the door hit you in in the backside on the way out.  And, NO...I'm not waking up early for no stinking black Friday sales either!

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